Afraid To Be Taken Care Of

While there are so many girls out there in the world that would give anything to have a guy in their life that pays for everything, that does everything for them; the thought of that terrifies me. I don’t want to ever have to be taken care of. I have always been very motivated and I feel a need to make something of myself. While at this time in my life, I may not have an exact answer as to what it is that I’m going to become, I have no doubt in my mind that things are going to turn out alright. I take one day at a time and while I’m not making as much money lately as I used to, I am positive that this is completely worth it.

I would never want to put the pressure on another person to take care of me and to support me. Sure, I may be going through a hard time, but it is on my mind every day that I really need to get on my computer and work and overall I’m very proud of myself. I think the thing that holds me back some of the time is that I’m afraid of not being able to take care of myself. I’m worried that I wouldn’t be able to take care of myself but the more that I think about it, I know that even if I was 100% alone.. had no friend, no family; that I could figure things out on my own.

How do you feel about people who are supported by someone else? I don’t see anything wrong with it if that’s what a person wants to do but I don’t think that’s a happy lifestyle. What happens when you grow old and realize you haven’t accomplished anything? (Btw, only YOU can determine whether you accomplished enough or not, everyone’s situation is different)

Love & Other Drugs (SPOILER ALERT)

Honestly, when I saw the previews and posters for this movie, I thought it was just going to be another one of those sappy love stories; which I love, but sometimes they can get old. In the beginning, I thought it was just all going to be about sex and the main character (Jamie) being a total player and not wanting to actually settle down and fall in love with a girl.

Well, the story took a much unexpected turn and everything was pretty hectic for a while. The movie takes you on this roller coaster ride of emotions that make you laugh and then cry, get angry and upset etc.

SPOILER:

When you find out that the female main character (Maggie) is very ill, you start to wonder if Jamie is going to actually stay with her or not. It’s a really cute love story and a very true-to-life one. I really enjoyed how the characters were so real and it felt like this movie could be based on a true story. I couldn’t help but cry during much of the movie, because you really start to love Maggie and want her and Jamie to be together. Jamie goes out of his way, trying to do anything in his power to help Maggie’s medical condition. In time; however, Maggie feels that it is too much and she doesn’t want to bring Jamie into her hectic life. She realizes that him being with her isn’t going to be very easy and wants him to have the life he deserves.

I won’t spoil the ending, but you must see this movie. Us girls all need a good cry once in a while :p

Teens Having Sex Too Early

It really freaks me out when I look around and see how kids are acting these days. My younger brother knows things I didn’t know until I was way older than he is, my sister is acting in ways that I don’t think any virgin should act. What is up with kids growing up so fast? How is it that kids learn about sex so early? It really seems to me like there’s not much parents can do to stop the cycle, because if their kids have friends and go to school, they are going to learn all these things. I think what parents are failing to do is take the time to have those important talks with their children, letting them know all the risks involved in having sex, making sure they know how tough pregnancy is and how much having a child will change a person’s life.

There are so many kids that I see now that are just DYING to become pregnant. Sure, I watch a lot of shows like Steve Wilkos and Maury but it’s not only from that that I notice. Kids are just growing up so fast and thinking they are so mature and that they can handle anything, when they don’t even realize how much sex really does change your life.

I had sex before I was ready and honestly, it changed me a lot. It made me feel disgusting and like I gave my body to someone who didn’t deserve it. I have been with two people before my current boyfriend and I can’t even tell you how often I think back and regret the past. I would love to say I’ve only been with one person. That would be a wonderful feeling. Stupid peer pressure lol!

Chris Working Two Jobs

I don’t know how my boyfriend does it, but he’s been working two jobs now for over month. I work from home and I can barely handle what I do sometimes. I have no idea what I would be like if I were working as many hours as he’s working. The most I’ve ever worked is 40ish hours a week (sometimes I had a few hours of overtime a week or so) and I would always go home and cry, not wanting to return to work the next day.

I just think he’s doing so amazing and I really look up to his determination. I used to be like that, spend a lot of time at work and was making good money (for what I needed to pay for at the time) and it was an amazing feeling but then I got to a point where I realized that I had to put my happiness before anything else. I know that may sound immature to some of you, but it works for me.

I am so proud of Chris for doing what he’s doing, but it puts so much more pressure on me than I already put on myself. I’m trying very hard to take one day at a time and work hard and just do as much as I possibly can. For some reason though, it just never feels good enough.

I’m just having one of those days. I need to relax. I know the feeling will pass.

Miley Cyrus Smoking

Who else has seen the Miley Cyrus video? I couldn’t believe it when I saw it. Sure, she’s done some pretty dumb things or whatever, but I always try not to judge. However, when you are a celebrity, you have to think about your actions and be more careful than a “normal” person would have to. I don’t think she understands that everything she does is going to be seen by everyone and that it could possibly ruin her career or cause her to lose important deals like movie roles or maybe product promotions etc.

I am the kind of person that feels that if people want to do drugs, that’s their own business. I just don’t want to know about it, I don’t want to be around it. In this case, though, I’m worried about her as a person. I feel that she’s doing that because something wrong. Either she is searching for some sort of release or she is trying to fit in. It’s sad to see people do things that hurt their bodies, even though I feel that it’s their body and if they want to hurt it, whatever.

How do you feel about Miley smoking with her friends?

I also want to bring up the fact that her so called “friend” recorded her and possibly leaked this video. I don’t know how the video got out, but if that’s the kind of people she hangs out with, then that’s very sad. People are always trying to hurt others. I hope that person gets busted for showing the video.

That’s all I’ve got for today. I’m off to play hangman. Share what you think about today’s topic!

Love Keeps Getting Stronger and Stronger

It amazes me how much I love my boyfriend and how much closer I feel to him each day. You would think that there would be a limit on how much you love someone, and once you love them what feels like “a lot”, that it would be done. (Meaning, you can’t possibly love them anymore) How is it then; that as each day goes by; I end up loving my boyfriend more and more and I feel closer to him all the time? I find it amazing lol. We’ve been together over a year now, and after all we’ve been through, he has proven to me that he cares about me more than I thought a person was capable of loving another person. He has taught me what it means to love another person. I thought I knew what love was, but I never did until I met him. I have major trust issues and I don’t like getting close to people, because I always figure that I’m going to lose them anyway, which I realize isn’t a good way to look at life, but it’s how I feel. When it comes to him, I would do anything for him (truly) and can honestly say for the first time in my entire life that I will be with him through anything. I don’t care if he was dying and couldn’t speak to me.. I would be right there with him, taking care of him because he is the most amazing, loving, caring person I have ever met. I love him with all my heart. He keeps me sane lol!

I heard about  this tennis game, so I’m going to check that out. Talk to you guys later!

1 Year Anniversary

My grandmother died on December 13^th, 2009 and I can’t believe it’s already been a year since she passed away. Losing her was such a hard time for me. She was my guidance, my “mother”, she was the person I went to whenever I was scared or had anything going on. I really didn’t think I could survive without her. Life seemed pointless without her. I’m so glad that in the past year, I have grown so much and learned to deal with her absence. I have learned to open up to those around me and accept help from those who care about me. Sometimes, I worry that people are going to give up on me and that I will end up all alone but when I sit down and think about it, I know that I’m just afraid to lose anyone again. Losing someone that means so much to you is very hard.

I don’t think I’ve ever dealt with her death and so I think I haven’t had time to heal. I hope that in time, I can feel “normal” again. (Whatever that is lol) I’m sure grandma would be very proud of me if she saw me today and she would recognize the good in what I’ve done instead of just seeing the bad, like I tend to do.

Wherever she is, I hope she’s happy and I hope she can see me. I really hope she’s with me.

Love you grandma!