TWO JOBS!!

I am so proud of my boyfriend! He quit his crappy job at Big! Lots and got two jobs. I’m so excited for him to get started. He can get at least 40 hours at one and about 30 at the other. I really hope this isn’t too much for him! I personally could barely handle 40 hours when I was working. I mean, I could but I got overly stressed and felt like I was going to freak out. I couldn’t stand it! I started having really terrible panic attacks and would cry on every single lunch and break that I had. I had horrible dreams about work and would dread working even on my days off. I personally think working online is much easier and much more fun. I love picking my hours. Plus, I don’t have to work as many hours as most people.

I don’t see how people do it. I know that many people don’t want to do it, but they have to. It sucks that money takes over all of our lives. I wish money wasn’t as important as it is.

Anyway, I’m really excited to hear how he likes working at both Radio Shack and his driving job. The driving job is going to be amazing for him because he’s obsessed with driving. He’s going to get to drive brand new cars. I can imagine the kind of stories I am going to be hearing when he gets home from work.

Memories of Grandma

It’s been seven months since I lost my grandmother to Cancer, and sometimes it feels as if she never existed, which is really upsetting but it’s much better than dealing with the pain of losing the most important person in my life. Right now, I feel like bawling my eyes out but I just can’t because I am too motivated and focused on the future. I know she wouldn’t want me to think about the fact that she’s gone, she would want me to think of the happy days and think about my future and the rest of my life with Chris. I wish she could see our apartment, the promise ring Chris gave me and everything. She would be so proud if she saw how well I’m doing with my online work. She would be so excited to hear about our new apartment and our new cards. She would love that my dad and I still hang out and that the kids still come over. Things have changed a lot since she left, but I try to keep things as normal as I can. I hope she knows I took over her phone number because I know it meant a lot to her. I am keeping in contact with everyone for her and I will never forget about her. I hope she knows I’m happy.

Lately, I’ve been reading a lot of the books that I’ve had for a while and never had the time to read them. I am currently reading my Alice Sebold books and my grandma always wrote in the books she gave me. It’s so sad seeing her handwriting and knowing she once held this book in her hands. Sometimes I wish I could see her again, have a conversation with her, and smell the scent of her perfume. She was the sweetest, cutest grandmother and I hope she knows I love her with all my heart. She’s so beautiful and she forever changed my life.

I love you so much grandma! I promise I will never give up. I love you so much!!!