It’s been seven months since I lost my grandmother to Cancer, and sometimes it feels as if she never existed, which is really upsetting but it’s much better than dealing with the pain of losing the most important person in my life. Right now, I feel like bawling my eyes out but I just can’t because I am too motivated and focused on the future. I know she wouldn’t want me to think about the fact that she’s gone, she would want me to think of the happy days and think about my future and the rest of my life with Chris. I wish she could see our apartment, the promise ring Chris gave me and everything. She would be so proud if she saw how well I’m doing with my online work. She would be so excited to hear about our new apartment and our new cards. She would love that my dad and I still hang out and that the kids still come over. Things have changed a lot since she left, but I try to keep things as normal as I can. I hope she knows I took over her phone number because I know it meant a lot to her. I am keeping in contact with everyone for her and I will never forget about her. I hope she knows I’m happy.
Lately, I’ve been reading a lot of the books that I’ve had for a while and never had the time to read them. I am currently reading my Alice Sebold books and my grandma always wrote in the books she gave me. It’s so sad seeing her handwriting and knowing she once held this book in her hands. Sometimes I wish I could see her again, have a conversation with her, and smell the scent of her perfume. She was the sweetest, cutest grandmother and I hope she knows I love her with all my heart. She’s so beautiful and she forever changed my life.
I love you so much grandma! I promise I will never give up. I love you so much!!!