Sunday, July 25, 2010

Memories of Grandma

It’s been seven months since I lost my grandmother to Cancer, and sometimes it feels as if she never existed, which is really upsetting but it’s much better than dealing with the pain of losing the most important person in my life. Right now, I feel like bawling my eyes out but I just can’t because I am too motivated and focused on the future. I know she wouldn’t want me to think about the fact that she’s gone, she would want me to think of the happy days and think about my future and the rest of my life with Chris. I wish she could see our apartment, the promise ring Chris gave me and everything. She would be so proud if she saw how well I’m doing with my online work. She would be so excited to hear about our new apartment and our new cards. She would love that my dad and I still hang out and that the kids still come over. Things have changed a lot since she left, but I try to keep things as normal as I can. I hope she knows I took over her phone number because I know it meant a lot to her. I am keeping in contact with everyone for her and I will never forget about her. I hope she knows I’m happy.

Lately, I’ve been reading a lot of the books that I’ve had for a while and never had the time to read them. I am currently reading my Alice Sebold books and my grandma always wrote in the books she gave me. It’s so sad seeing her handwriting and knowing she once held this book in her hands. Sometimes I wish I could see her again, have a conversation with her, and smell the scent of her perfume. She was the sweetest, cutest grandmother and I hope she knows I love her with all my heart. She’s so beautiful and she forever changed my life.

I love you so much grandma! I promise I will never give up. I love you so much!!!

Monday, July 19, 2010


I’m not sure why but lately there have been a lot of misunderstandings in my house. These misunderstandings have led to a lot of stupid fights that never needed to happen in the first place. I don’t want to get into too much detail because it’s all over now, but I thought I’d share because I think people forget to communicate a lot of the time which leads to fights or even the end of a relationship that didn’t have to happen in the first place.

So anyway, my boyfriend and I are very happy but when I hear something that he’s said to his friend or things like that, I get nervous. I was told that he wasn’t happy with me, that he wanted to leave me and all kinds of things like that. I was very hurt and didn’t know what to do. So, I went directly to my boyfriend and asked him if it was true. He said no. So, I figured his friend was lying.

Well, turns out no one was lying. The whole thing had been a huge misunderstanding. His friend had been angry at the time he told me, and he wasn’t paying attention to how he had worded things. I also took the things wrong and by the time I told my boyfriend, everything was all scrambled up. When my boyfriend had said he wanted to take a break from me if we were still fighting when he had a better job, I had turned it into, when he got a bigger job, he wanted to leave me.

This is a reminder for everyone reading this to pay close attention to details and talk to the source. Things can get confused and twisted when repeated. I hope this helps your relationships!

Saturday, July 10, 2010


How many of you saw the latest from The Twilight Saga? I think Eclipse was the best out of all of the Twilight movies. Not to sound like I hate the movies or anything, but I think Eclipse actually came across as a real movie and not some amateur film. I think the acting in Twilight and New Moon was really boring and depressing. The movies just moved too slow and I’m sure that’s why there were so many people who didn’t like them or understand them. The books are wonderful and I think it’s hard to capture something onto film like that. Depression isn’t supposed to be entertaining and it’s hard to show your acting abilities when you have to act the same way 24/7 and stumble on your words. But anyway, what are your thoughts on the movies?

I am so excited to see Breaking Dawn. From what I’ve heard, filming hasn’t even begun yet, and I can’t wait until there are some little sneak peeks and trailers. Trailers always get me all hyped up for a movie. They also make me a little impatient :p. What movies are you excited to see? Are there any movies that you’ve seen lately that you liked or disliked? Why?

It’s been a year now-which is embarrassing lol- that I’ve been working on reading Breaking Dawn and I’m still only about half way through it. It’s not that I read super slow or anything, I just haven’t made the time to finish it lol. So far, it’s amazing. I can’t wait to see how they put it into film!!

Friday, July 9, 2010

What Inspires Me

What inspires you? What keeps you going? What picks you up when you’ve had a bad day?

For me, writing fixes everything. I’m not the best at speaking about how I’m feeling, so when I’m upset and not quite sure why, I’ll grab a piece of paper, close my bedroom door and just let my writing flow. Sometimes what I’m writing doesn’t even make sense, and I think that’s fine; what really matters most is that I’m getting something out of my writing. Whether it be a new outlook on my life, or understanding what’s going on in my own head; it always makes a difference.

Writing has always been a major outlet for me, just like singing. When I’m upset, it feels really good to crank up the music, close my door and just let the emotions flow. Sometimes it doesn’t even matter what the song’s about but I’ll end up bawling my eyes out lol. It may seem a bit strange, but it’s such a stress relief for me. Lately I love singing Christina Aguilera’s “Not Myself Tonight”, “Vanity” and “WooHoo”, they’re really fun songs. I also am really enjoying Rihanna’s latest album, Rated R. A lot of her songs are really catchy. I would have to say “Hard” and “Rock Star 101” are my favorites. Lastly, Ciara’s “Ride It” is another really fun song that I love to sing. The best is just really catchy and it’s a really sexxi song.

So, what about you?

YouTube: The New Television

What are your favorite shows? Mine are a little different and many of you will probably not even know what they are. I guess I should start by letting you know that I don’t have TV, so the internet is my main source of “television”. I say “television” because my favorite things to watch are all people on YouTube. Have any of you heard of LisaNova who created the channel MollyisSoCoolLIKE or Shane Dawson? The series that Lisa Nova created is kind of corny but there are a lot of people who are hooked on it. It’s about this girl who has a strange voice and is in high school, she’s a complete outcast. I really think the actors do an amazing job staying in character. Basically, the entire show is recorded from the young girl Molly’s camera. Her mother is an alcoholic, her father got out of jail. There’s a lot going on but it never gets boring and I really think if you give it a chance, you will get hooked too. It’s a pretty funny series at times, but it’s also dramatic and suspenseful and makes you want to come back next time. I’m pretty sure there is a new episode every day or close to it.

Shane Dawson is another really entertaining person. He has a lot of really random skits that he does and a bunch of interesting characters. He will even dress up as girls sometimes, which are my favorite. It’s one of those things that you would just have to see. It’s hard to explain but it’s awesome! He’s a really positive, fun person.

Times Are Changing

So many of us have been there; not happy with our jobs but not sure where to go next. We grow up told that you have to get a job, you have to go to college and so many other things in order to live a fulfilling life. Sure, doing those things is a good thing, but who can tell us that we absolutely have to go to college to succeed? Who has the right to tell us what the definition of a job is? Times are changing and so should we. As we age, we forget all the possibilities that are out there. Just because most people do things a certain way, doesn’t necessarily mean that we have to do it the same way. I have been doing pretty well working online and as time goes on, I keep making more money. Not only can you make money online but you can encounter some really neat people who teach you many things along the way. Working online gives you so many options. Who wouldn’t want to have the ability to work from home? To pick when they work and for how long? To choose who they work for and how much they are paid? The possibilities are truly endless. All it takes is patience and the will to try new things.

For those of you who are new to online working and need more information, feel free to leave a comment. I would love to help you in your journey.

To get started, here are a few websites that I know you can make money on very easily.

Good luck! I wish you the best in whatever you choose to do.