Engaged!

I have the most exciting news ever! My boyfriend asked me to marry him the other day. I’ve never thought I would ever get married because of everything I’ve seen in my past. In this day and age, it seems like everyone is always breaking up and getting divorced. While I’m not against divorce, I personally don’t want to ever go through that experience. When I said “yes” to Chris, which is only because I really can see us making it work forever. I can see us getting through all the hard times and pulling through strong in the end. We have been through so much in the last year and a half that we have been together and it’s proven so much to me. I have changed so much, even in the past month or two. We are constantly growing, maturing and figuring out what we want in life. I get butterflies just thinking about him, and am excited to see him every single day. To me, that’s love. To me, love is knowing someone so well and being comfortable around them; it’s being vulnerable around them and letting them into your heart like no one else has ever been let in before. Chris has been here for me through so much and when I kept thinking he was going to give up on trying, he always stuck around.

I have no idea when we will get married, but that’s fine with me. I could do it tomorrow, or I could do it years from now. Anything works for me. I’m just so happy to have found my match!

Chris Working Two Jobs

I don’t know how my boyfriend does it, but he’s been working two jobs now for over month. I work from home and I can barely handle what I do sometimes. I have no idea what I would be like if I were working as many hours as he’s working. The most I’ve ever worked is 40ish hours a week (sometimes I had a few hours of overtime a week or so) and I would always go home and cry, not wanting to return to work the next day.

I just think he’s doing so amazing and I really look up to his determination. I used to be like that, spend a lot of time at work and was making good money (for what I needed to pay for at the time) and it was an amazing feeling but then I got to a point where I realized that I had to put my happiness before anything else. I know that may sound immature to some of you, but it works for me.

I am so proud of Chris for doing what he’s doing, but it puts so much more pressure on me than I already put on myself. I’m trying very hard to take one day at a time and work hard and just do as much as I possibly can. For some reason though, it just never feels good enough.

I’m just having one of those days. I need to relax. I know the feeling will pass.

Love Keeps Getting Stronger and Stronger

It amazes me how much I love my boyfriend and how much closer I feel to him each day. You would think that there would be a limit on how much you love someone, and once you love them what feels like “a lot”, that it would be done. (Meaning, you can’t possibly love them anymore) How is it then; that as each day goes by; I end up loving my boyfriend more and more and I feel closer to him all the time? I find it amazing lol. We’ve been together over a year now, and after all we’ve been through, he has proven to me that he cares about me more than I thought a person was capable of loving another person. He has taught me what it means to love another person. I thought I knew what love was, but I never did until I met him. I have major trust issues and I don’t like getting close to people, because I always figure that I’m going to lose them anyway, which I realize isn’t a good way to look at life, but it’s how I feel. When it comes to him, I would do anything for him (truly) and can honestly say for the first time in my entire life that I will be with him through anything. I don’t care if he was dying and couldn’t speak to me.. I would be right there with him, taking care of him because he is the most amazing, loving, caring person I have ever met. I love him with all my heart. He keeps me sane lol!

I heard about  this tennis game, so I’m going to check that out. Talk to you guys later!

TWO JOBS!!

I am so proud of my boyfriend! He quit his crappy job at Big! Lots and got two jobs. I’m so excited for him to get started. He can get at least 40 hours at one and about 30 at the other. I really hope this isn’t too much for him! I personally could barely handle 40 hours when I was working. I mean, I could but I got overly stressed and felt like I was going to freak out. I couldn’t stand it! I started having really terrible panic attacks and would cry on every single lunch and break that I had. I had horrible dreams about work and would dread working even on my days off. I personally think working online is much easier and much more fun. I love picking my hours. Plus, I don’t have to work as many hours as most people.

I don’t see how people do it. I know that many people don’t want to do it, but they have to. It sucks that money takes over all of our lives. I wish money wasn’t as important as it is.

Anyway, I’m really excited to hear how he likes working at both Radio Shack and his driving job. The driving job is going to be amazing for him because he’s obsessed with driving. He’s going to get to drive brand new cars. I can imagine the kind of stories I am going to be hearing when he gets home from work.

Almost Our One Year!!!

I’m super excited! My boyfriend and I have almost been together for one full year. Sure, it’s been bumpy along the way and there have been times I’ve worried we weren’t going to work, but I always knew we would be friends. I’ve never been happier in my life and I know he’s the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. I’ve literally lived with him since the day we started dating. I’m so glad I took that chance, and moved states away to be with him. I never knew things would turn out this great. Ever since I took that chance, I have followed my heart. Something told me back then that I had to give it a try, because if I didn’t then I would never know. I’d only known Chris for about a year at that point, and we never really hung out much. I always thought he was so adorable and awesome. He was always so much fun, so funny and full of life. He didn’t seem to care what people thought of him, which was super sexy.

So ya, September 1st, 2009 was the day I decided to move to Reno. I was terrified but so excited. It was going to be a fresh start for me and my grandma was sick with Lymphoma. I didn’t know how to deal with losing the person I loved most, the one I ran to for everything. Lucky for me, things worked out great with Chris. We moved back to Seattle to take care of my grandma and in a way, he took her place. I don’t know what I would do without him!

I love you Chris, always and forever!! Happy one year and many, many more to come <3