Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Chris Working Two Jobs

I don’t know how my boyfriend does it, but he’s been working two jobs now for over month. I work from home and I can barely handle what I do sometimes. I have no idea what I would be like if I were working as many hours as he’s working. The most I’ve ever worked is 40ish hours a week (sometimes I had a few hours of overtime a week or so) and I would always go home and cry, not wanting to return to work the next day.
I just think he’s doing so amazing and I really look up to his determination. I used to be like that, spend a lot of time at work and was making good money (for what I needed to pay for at the time) and it was an amazing feeling but then I got to a point where I realized that I had to put my happiness before anything else. I know that may sound immature to some of you, but it works for me.

I am so proud of Chris for doing what he’s doing, but it puts so much more pressure on me than I already put on myself. I’m trying very hard to take one day at a time and work hard and just do as much as I possibly can. For some reason though, it just never feels good enough.

I’m just having one of those days. I need to relax. I know the feeling will pass.

Miley Cyrus Smoking

Who else has seen the Miley Cyrus video? I couldn’t believe it when I saw it. Sure, she’s done some pretty dumb things or whatever, but I always try not to judge. However, when you are a celebrity, you have to think about your actions and be more careful than a “normal” person would have to. I don’t think she understands that everything she does is going to be seen by everyone and that it could possibly ruin her career or cause her to lose important deals like movie roles or maybe product promotions etc.

I am the kind of person that feels that if people want to do drugs, that’s their own business. I just don’t want to know about it, I don’t want to be around it. In this case, though, I’m worried about her as a person. I feel that she’s doing that because something wrong. Either she is searching for some sort of release or she is trying to fit in. It’s sad to see people do things that hurt their bodies, even though I feel that it’s their body and if they want to hurt it, whatever.

How do you feel about Miley smoking with her friends?

I also want to bring up the fact that her so called “friend” recorded her and possibly leaked this video. I don’t know how the video got out, but if that’s the kind of people she hangs out with, then that’s very sad. People are always trying to hurt others. I hope that person gets busted for showing the video.

That’s all I’ve got for today. I’m off to play hangman. Share what you think about today’s topic!

Love Keeps Getting Stronger and Stronger

It amazes me how much I love my boyfriend and how much closer I feel to him each day. You would think that there would be a limit on how much you love someone, and once you love them what feels like “a lot”, that it would be done. (Meaning, you can’t possibly love them anymore) How is it then; that as each day goes by; I end up loving my boyfriend more and more and I feel closer to him all the time? I find it amazing lol. We’ve been together over a year now, and after all we’ve been through, he has proven to me that he cares about me more than I thought a person was capable of loving another person. He has taught me what it means to love another person. I thought I knew what love was, but I never did until I met him. I have major trust issues and I don’t like getting close to people, because I always figure that I’m going to lose them anyway, which I realize isn’t a good way to look at life, but it’s how I feel. When it comes to him, I would do anything for him (truly) and can honestly say for the first time in my entire life that I will be with him through anything. I don’t care if he was dying and couldn’t speak to me.. I would be right there with him, taking care of him because he is the most amazing, loving, caring person I have ever met. I love him with all my heart. He keeps me sane lol!

I heard about  this tennis game, so I’m going to check that out. Talk to you guys later!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

1 Year Anniversary

My grandmother died on December 13th, 2009 and I can’t believe it’s already been a year since she passed away. Losing her was such a hard time for me. She was my guidance, my “mother”, she was the person I went to whenever I was scared or had anything going on. I really didn’t think I could survive without her. Life seemed pointless without her. I’m so glad that in the past year, I have grown so much and learned to deal with her absence. I have learned to open up to those around me and accept help from those who care about me. Sometimes, I worry that people are going to give up on me and that I will end up all alone but when I sit down and think about it, I know that I’m just afraid to lose anyone again. Losing someone that means so much to you is very hard.

I don’t think I’ve ever dealt with her death and so I think I haven’t had time to heal. I hope that in time, I can feel “normal” again. (Whatever that is lol) I’m sure grandma would be very proud of me if she saw me today and she would recognize the good in what I’ve done instead of just seeing the bad, like I tend to do.

Wherever she is, I hope she’s happy and I hope she can see me. I really hope she’s with me.

Love you grandma!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

The Vampire Diaries

I know I've been away for a while, but I'm back! :):)

This is my favorite new show. What’s really cool in my opinion is the fact that the main character is actually from my favorite show since I was 14 years old; called Degrassi. It’s really interesting how so many actors and actresses from Degrassi make it into larger shows in the United States. (The show originates from Canada) It’s always a nice surprise when I’m watching a movie and suddenly one of my favorite characters from Degrassi pops up out of nowhere lol.

Anyway, I think this is an awesome show. I like seeing vampires in a new light. Yes, I realize this is all part of the “vampire phase” that’s going on right now, but I think it’s really interesting and I don’t just like it because other people do. I think the show is very sexy, provocative and interesting. I am always excited to see the next episode. It’s like; the episodes can never be long enough for me. I wish this show could be more like a sitcom or something, so that there would be episodes every single day. That would really be amazing. I’m just not sure I would have the time to watch them all haha.

This makes me wonder… what do you think about this whole “vampire obsession” lately? Do you like it, hate it? Do you wish it would die? HAHA. I’m really glad to have finally found something that I’m really into other than just music and writing. Don’t even get me started about Twilight! Lol.

I know this is completely random, but I miss my exercise bike I had when I lived with my grandma. I think it would help me work out more.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Before I die..

I don’t have a huge list of things I want to do before I die, but they mean a lot to me. I’m sure  as I get older they are going to change, but here is what I have as of today lol:

I want to stay with my boyfriend, and get closer to him. I want him and I to build the kind of bond that I have always dreamed of and prove to people that, yes, it is possible. I want him and I to be those adorable 50 year olds that you see walking down the street.. holding hands and crazy in love. I hope to one day marry him and prove to everyone that marriages can last. I want to show him how much I love him by committing myself to him in front of our friends and family.

I would love to do a lot of traveling some day. I know it’s really expensive, but I’ve heard such great things about places like France and Italy. I think people who travel probably respect life more and understand people more. I don’t want to spend my entire life in the United States, never knowing what it’s really like to live. I want to try all kinds of foods, and I want to understand all kinds of cultures, religions and things like that.
Lastly, I would love to go further with my writing and hopefully publish a book; maybe more. I want to be known, not famous.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010


I am so proud of my boyfriend! He quit his crappy job at Big! Lots and got two jobs. I’m so excited for him to get started. He can get at least 40 hours at one and about 30 at the other. I really hope this isn’t too much for him! I personally could barely handle 40 hours when I was working. I mean, I could but I got overly stressed and felt like I was going to freak out. I couldn’t stand it! I started having really terrible panic attacks and would cry on every single lunch and break that I had. I had horrible dreams about work and would dread working even on my days off. I personally think working online is much easier and much more fun. I love picking my hours. Plus, I don’t have to work as many hours as most people.

I don’t see how people do it. I know that many people don’t want to do it, but they have to. It sucks that money takes over all of our lives. I wish money wasn’t as important as it is.

Anyway, I’m really excited to hear how he likes working at both Radio Shack and his driving job. The driving job is going to be amazing for him because he’s obsessed with driving. He’s going to get to drive brand new cars. I can imagine the kind of stories I am going to be hearing when he gets home from work.


Does anyone reading this have a Kindle? I never thought I would have one, because I love having a physical book in front of me to actually turn the pages and all of that. However, when I got my new cell phone, there was a Kindle Application and I instantly got addicted. I started by getting little free samples here and there, and it started to completely take over my life. I wasn’t working very hard for a few days, because I became so addicted to reading.

The really cool thing about the Kindle is that it’s so light, and the battery for it lasts about a month or even more. I didn’t think I would get one because I already had the Kindle on my Droid, but it was so worth it. It’s nice to have books on my cell when I need them, but it’s even better on the Kindle. I love bringing the Kindle with me on road trips, because it lasts so long, and it’s easy to read even when it’s in the sunlight.

The only thing that is better about the Kindle on my cell phone is the fact that it has a backlight. I love how I can make the text white and the background black. It’s really nice to lay in bed and listen. My cell now has my life on it: music and books! Hehe.

What Can't You Stand?

I can’t stand when people are two faced and act like they know something about your life when they’ve never even been there for you. I also can’t stand when people make plans and then seem to go out of their way to make it so you can’t meet up and make you drive around in circles to find them. Lol.. yes, this happened to me recently and that’s why it’s on my mind lol.

I’m pretty easy to please though, but I just get annoyed with lame people. Some people are just so dumb lol. Like for example: drivers! At least where I live! OMFG! There are some people that are so terrifying on the road that I have NO freakin clue how they ever were allowed on the road in the first place. You have probably seen them, the ones who cut you off or run lights. You notice how there’s NEVER a cop around when they do it? Cops are always around when something minor happens but not when someone REALLY deserves a ticket. No, cuz that would just be oh too convenient lol.

It also drives me crazy when people won’t call you back or are being super-immature and don’t want to talk to you. OR, how about when people text you and you would rather call cuz it’s easier, but they just keep texting and won’t answer your calls lol. That always cracks me up!

Wow, I feel a lot better hehe. So, what bugs you?

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I Wanna Get Married

I can’t believe I’m even saying this, but I want to get married. I promised myself growing up that I would never attach myself to someone and let them “control” me in that way. However, after being with my boyfriend for a year, I am completely sure that he is the man I want to be with for the rest of my life. I’m sure a lot of people may think that 21 is too early to know something for sure, but I’ve never been more positive. Everything with Chris has been like this. Even before we were dating, I knew he was right for me and the one. I didn’t want life without him. He makes everything better, everything fun and exciting.
It’s just so crazy to me that I actually even have this on my mind. I never thought I would feel this way. You see, I have major trust issues, since growing up with my mom and seeing what she went through and how she treated people. I really thought that the only person I could count on was myself and hid my feelings and pushed everyone away. I realize now that it’s okay to want someone in your life, open up to them and bring them closer. Being alone just isn’t for me. He makes my life better and I want him a part of my life forever.
That’s what I realized, there’s a difference between feeling you NEED someone and just LIKING them in your life. That’s how I know things are right with him. I know I don’t need him but I want him around me.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Laying In The Grass

I have been having so much fun with my dog lately! I love laying in the grass with him. He gets all excited when I lay down, and he jumps all over me. Luckily he’s only like 3 pounds or it would probably hurt me lol. I could sit outside with him for hours and just let him run around. He’s so funny! I’m not sure what it is but he’s obsessed with leaves. He’ll sit there and chew on them. He also loves pinecones. Does your dog do that too? I just think it’s so hilarious.

I feel bad lately though, because I haven’t been walking him very much. I guess I’ve just been so tired from working and everything and I just don’t have the energy for much of anything right now. Any tips on how to walk your dog and just how to stay motivated? I know he needs to get out of the apartment more and get some fresh air; so do I.

I’m so glad we have three puppies, because they can all grow up together. I just wish they knew how to keep it down at night. They’re always running around, chasing each other; barking lol. I bet the neighbors downstairs hate us! Luckily, they’re moving really soon. I’m really surprised people haven’t complained about them. There was only one time that the neighbor told us that our dog was being loud and it was like 11pm. I felt really bad!! I didn’t realize he was that loud. I guess I just get used to him doing it. He hates when we go to bed at night, because he just wants to stay up. He gets all angry when we turn out the lights lol.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

I've Always Wanted To...

I’ve always wanted to be a singer. As far back as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be a singer. I used to dance in front of the school back in Elementary School and there was just this awesome rush that came along with it. I will never, ever forget that feeling! It’s amazing to see the crowd and people cheering! I love seeing people dance along with me and all into what I’m doing. The lights on you are also amazing.. it just seems unreal.

I have always loved singing but I’m too shy to sing in front of people. I realize that that may be a bit of a problem lol, but I’m working on it. Lately, I’ve been singing and posting videos of myself on YouTube. I really hope this helps me get over my fear! I’m always hoping someone will “discover” me randomly one day! You know how you always hear about those celebs who were randomly discovered by an agent or whatever randomly? That’s what I wish would happen to me. However, I’m not sure I’m good enough to be wanted. I think I have a lot of practicing and learning to do before I get to that point!

I’ve also always wanted to be a dancer. I love watching people dance. I think it’s very inspiring and it seems like such an awesome stress reliever.

What are your dreams? What have you always wanted to do? Let’s share our stories and get to know each other better!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Almost Our One Year!!!

I’m super excited! My boyfriend and I have almost been together for one full year. Sure, it’s been bumpy along the way and there have been times I’ve worried we weren’t going to work, but I always knew we would be friends. I’ve never been happier in my life and I know he’s the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. I’ve literally lived with him since the day we started dating. I’m so glad I took that chance, and moved states away to be with him. I never knew things would turn out this great. Ever since I took that chance, I have followed my heart. Something told me back then that I had to give it a try, because if I didn’t then I would never know. I’d only known Chris for about a year at that point, and we never really hung out much. I always thought he was so adorable and awesome. He was always so much fun, so funny and full of life. He didn’t seem to care what people thought of him, which was super sexy.

So ya, September 1st, 2009 was the day I decided to move to Reno. I was terrified but so excited. It was going to be a fresh start for me and my grandma was sick with Lymphoma. I didn’t know how to deal with losing the person I loved most, the one I ran to for everything. Lucky for me, things worked out great with Chris. We moved back to Seattle to take care of my grandma and in a way, he took her place. I don’t know what I would do without him!

I love you Chris, always and forever!! Happy one year and many, many more to come <3

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Getting My Hair Done

I am curious if all the other women out there feel the same way as I do. Every time I get my hair done, I feel like a completely different person. It always makes me feel like I can do anything.

What makes doing my hair the most fun is that there are a seemingly endless number of combinations. I love how it feels to try something totally new, and come out feeling and looking totally different. I thought I was done dying my hair a while ago, but I’ve decided to start again.

While flipping through one of my Cosmo magazines, I saw this hair ad that pictured a girl with pink and blonde streaks in her hair. Although I was a bit nervous, I decided to go with it and see what happened. It’s not like I have a “real” job to go to everyday anyway, so if it looked hideous, I could just hide lol.

It ended up turning out really nice looking and I think once this starts to grow out, I’m going to die my hair completely red. This is probably the most drastic change I’ve ever made to my appearance.

What are some of the craziest things you have done with your hair? Or even just with your appearance in general? What made you do it? How did it feel? How did everyone respond when they saw the major change?

Everyone’s shocked with what I did with my hair but they say they like it. Honestly, even if they didn’t, I would still love it because it feels awesome to take a chance.

Believe In Yourself

I truly believe; positive thinking goes a long way. I have noticed that when you think bad things are going to happen or you look for the negative in everything, negative things happen. Our minds are a lot stronger than many of us think. There is a sort of energy that emulates from us when we think one way or the other, causing things in our life to happen.

I have chosen to take the positive route because I really think it will benefit me. Ever since I found out I had anxiety, I realized that the way I was thinking was affecting how happy I was. In order to live a happy life, I had to change the way I was thinking. My whole life I had been only seeing the negative in my life and hadn’t realized that a lot of it had to do with the way I was acting. I was pushing those away who cared about me most away and not letting anyone into my little bubble. My mother didn’t help much with my situation; she was always picking me apart and making me feel like I had no voice.

I’m glad that I now have many people who love me around me all the time and that are very supportive. Therapy taught me a lot and I hope all of you can lead positive lives as well :)

Life is too short to be worried about the little things, and upsetting over things that will get better in time.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010


So, lately I’ve been reading a lot (about a book every 2 days, which is crazy, I know) and I’ve really gotten into vampire stories. I know that doesn’t seem too strange since I’m a huge fan of Twilight, but it wasn’t the vampires that got me hooked on Twilight; it was the love story behind it. I’m now on the 3rd book of the Vampire Diaries series and now I’m realizing that I really do have a crush on vampires lol. I think the whole vampire story is really romantic, how they want to be normal and how they fall in love with regular people. The Vampire Diaries are like nothing I’ve ever read before. I’ve seen a few of the episodes on The CW, but never realized how intense it really was.

I can’t wait to finish these books, because I also bought the entire TrueBlood series. I’ve heard TruBlood is really different too. I guess in that series, vampires walk among the living and everyone knows about them. That’s going to be really fun to read. All of this reading is inspiring me to keep working on writing my first book, because you never know what may happen :)

Who knows, maybe I’ll end up writing the next big series. That would be my dream! I love writing and to make a living off it. Man, I would feel like the luckiest girl in the world!!! There’s nothing else I could wish for and I’ve never been happier in my entire life. This is the best feeling ever!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Becoming a Cop

My boyfriend has been thinking about becoming a cop lately and although I want to be supportive, I’m also very scared for his safety. I know that cops are needed, and I realize that if he does it then we will be doing very well in the money department, but I can’t help but think about how likely it is for him to get hurt? I keep hearing stories on TV about cops getting killed around Seattle, and I’m worried because that’s where we live. I don’t want to lose him because he means so much to me and he is my purpose for living each day. He makes me happy and he has changed me in ways that no one else ever has or ever could. He is my life; he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

I will admit, it’s very inspiring and sexy to see him with these goals all set out for himself and it’s motivating me to do things I thought I never would, like go to college myself and pursue my love of Psychology. At least what I’ll be doing isn’t dangerous. He is going to be putting his life on the line every single day and I’m not sure if he’s put much thought into that. Does he not realize that he could die? Does he not see that his life could be forever changed because he is going to be face to face with some very shady people?

Of course I want to be supportive, but I can’t shake my fears. Does anyone know anyone who’s a cop? How can I deal?

He's going to look super sexxi, that's for sure!!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Memories of Grandma

It’s been seven months since I lost my grandmother to Cancer, and sometimes it feels as if she never existed, which is really upsetting but it’s much better than dealing with the pain of losing the most important person in my life. Right now, I feel like bawling my eyes out but I just can’t because I am too motivated and focused on the future. I know she wouldn’t want me to think about the fact that she’s gone, she would want me to think of the happy days and think about my future and the rest of my life with Chris. I wish she could see our apartment, the promise ring Chris gave me and everything. She would be so proud if she saw how well I’m doing with my online work. She would be so excited to hear about our new apartment and our new cards. She would love that my dad and I still hang out and that the kids still come over. Things have changed a lot since she left, but I try to keep things as normal as I can. I hope she knows I took over her phone number because I know it meant a lot to her. I am keeping in contact with everyone for her and I will never forget about her. I hope she knows I’m happy.

Lately, I’ve been reading a lot of the books that I’ve had for a while and never had the time to read them. I am currently reading my Alice Sebold books and my grandma always wrote in the books she gave me. It’s so sad seeing her handwriting and knowing she once held this book in her hands. Sometimes I wish I could see her again, have a conversation with her, and smell the scent of her perfume. She was the sweetest, cutest grandmother and I hope she knows I love her with all my heart. She’s so beautiful and she forever changed my life.

I love you so much grandma! I promise I will never give up. I love you so much!!!

Monday, July 19, 2010


I’m not sure why but lately there have been a lot of misunderstandings in my house. These misunderstandings have led to a lot of stupid fights that never needed to happen in the first place. I don’t want to get into too much detail because it’s all over now, but I thought I’d share because I think people forget to communicate a lot of the time which leads to fights or even the end of a relationship that didn’t have to happen in the first place.

So anyway, my boyfriend and I are very happy but when I hear something that he’s said to his friend or things like that, I get nervous. I was told that he wasn’t happy with me, that he wanted to leave me and all kinds of things like that. I was very hurt and didn’t know what to do. So, I went directly to my boyfriend and asked him if it was true. He said no. So, I figured his friend was lying.

Well, turns out no one was lying. The whole thing had been a huge misunderstanding. His friend had been angry at the time he told me, and he wasn’t paying attention to how he had worded things. I also took the things wrong and by the time I told my boyfriend, everything was all scrambled up. When my boyfriend had said he wanted to take a break from me if we were still fighting when he had a better job, I had turned it into, when he got a bigger job, he wanted to leave me.

This is a reminder for everyone reading this to pay close attention to details and talk to the source. Things can get confused and twisted when repeated. I hope this helps your relationships!

Saturday, July 10, 2010


How many of you saw the latest from The Twilight Saga? I think Eclipse was the best out of all of the Twilight movies. Not to sound like I hate the movies or anything, but I think Eclipse actually came across as a real movie and not some amateur film. I think the acting in Twilight and New Moon was really boring and depressing. The movies just moved too slow and I’m sure that’s why there were so many people who didn’t like them or understand them. The books are wonderful and I think it’s hard to capture something onto film like that. Depression isn’t supposed to be entertaining and it’s hard to show your acting abilities when you have to act the same way 24/7 and stumble on your words. But anyway, what are your thoughts on the movies?

I am so excited to see Breaking Dawn. From what I’ve heard, filming hasn’t even begun yet, and I can’t wait until there are some little sneak peeks and trailers. Trailers always get me all hyped up for a movie. They also make me a little impatient :p. What movies are you excited to see? Are there any movies that you’ve seen lately that you liked or disliked? Why?

It’s been a year now-which is embarrassing lol- that I’ve been working on reading Breaking Dawn and I’m still only about half way through it. It’s not that I read super slow or anything, I just haven’t made the time to finish it lol. So far, it’s amazing. I can’t wait to see how they put it into film!!

Friday, July 9, 2010

What Inspires Me

What inspires you? What keeps you going? What picks you up when you’ve had a bad day?

For me, writing fixes everything. I’m not the best at speaking about how I’m feeling, so when I’m upset and not quite sure why, I’ll grab a piece of paper, close my bedroom door and just let my writing flow. Sometimes what I’m writing doesn’t even make sense, and I think that’s fine; what really matters most is that I’m getting something out of my writing. Whether it be a new outlook on my life, or understanding what’s going on in my own head; it always makes a difference.

Writing has always been a major outlet for me, just like singing. When I’m upset, it feels really good to crank up the music, close my door and just let the emotions flow. Sometimes it doesn’t even matter what the song’s about but I’ll end up bawling my eyes out lol. It may seem a bit strange, but it’s such a stress relief for me. Lately I love singing Christina Aguilera’s “Not Myself Tonight”, “Vanity” and “WooHoo”, they’re really fun songs. I also am really enjoying Rihanna’s latest album, Rated R. A lot of her songs are really catchy. I would have to say “Hard” and “Rock Star 101” are my favorites. Lastly, Ciara’s “Ride It” is another really fun song that I love to sing. The best is just really catchy and it’s a really sexxi song.

So, what about you?

YouTube: The New Television

What are your favorite shows? Mine are a little different and many of you will probably not even know what they are. I guess I should start by letting you know that I don’t have TV, so the internet is my main source of “television”. I say “television” because my favorite things to watch are all people on YouTube. Have any of you heard of LisaNova who created the channel MollyisSoCoolLIKE or Shane Dawson? The series that Lisa Nova created is kind of corny but there are a lot of people who are hooked on it. It’s about this girl who has a strange voice and is in high school, she’s a complete outcast. I really think the actors do an amazing job staying in character. Basically, the entire show is recorded from the young girl Molly’s camera. Her mother is an alcoholic, her father got out of jail. There’s a lot going on but it never gets boring and I really think if you give it a chance, you will get hooked too. It’s a pretty funny series at times, but it’s also dramatic and suspenseful and makes you want to come back next time. I’m pretty sure there is a new episode every day or close to it.

Shane Dawson is another really entertaining person. He has a lot of really random skits that he does and a bunch of interesting characters. He will even dress up as girls sometimes, which are my favorite. It’s one of those things that you would just have to see. It’s hard to explain but it’s awesome! He’s a really positive, fun person.

Times Are Changing

So many of us have been there; not happy with our jobs but not sure where to go next. We grow up told that you have to get a job, you have to go to college and so many other things in order to live a fulfilling life. Sure, doing those things is a good thing, but who can tell us that we absolutely have to go to college to succeed? Who has the right to tell us what the definition of a job is? Times are changing and so should we. As we age, we forget all the possibilities that are out there. Just because most people do things a certain way, doesn’t necessarily mean that we have to do it the same way. I have been doing pretty well working online and as time goes on, I keep making more money. Not only can you make money online but you can encounter some really neat people who teach you many things along the way. Working online gives you so many options. Who wouldn’t want to have the ability to work from home? To pick when they work and for how long? To choose who they work for and how much they are paid? The possibilities are truly endless. All it takes is patience and the will to try new things.

For those of you who are new to online working and need more information, feel free to leave a comment. I would love to help you in your journey.

To get started, here are a few websites that I know you can make money on very easily.




Good luck! I wish you the best in whatever you choose to do.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Anything is possible

When we are kids, we are taught to believe that anything is possible; you can be whatever you want to be. As adults, many of us begin to lose faith in ourselves and life in general. Where it’s the cards we’ve been dealt or our lack of motivation, we try less and less to achieve our dreams. Too many times, we are told that our dreams aren’t possible; that they are too far from our reach. What I’ve learned recently is that, if you want something bad enough and work at it hard and long enough, you can make it happen. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but you can get there.

I myself have been stuck in that rut; I had lost all hope and my dreams seemed impossible. When I got to a point in my life where I was no longer in control of my life, because I had let people hold me back and tell me what I could and couldn’t do. I lost who I was. I wasn’t enjoying life anymore and forgot who I was.

It’s okay to let people guide you along the way and share their experiences, but at the end of the day, you’re the one in control of your life. If there is something that makes you happy (for me, that’s writing) and others tell you it can’t happen, don’t let that stop you. I’ve been told by many people that I’ll never make enough money as a writer.

I hope I have inspired you to do what makes you happy. Life is too short to waste.

Negative Relationships

In life, ‘bad’ things may come our way, but in the end, after it’s all said and done, life goes on. Who are we to say what is good and bad? Something that seems bad at a certain time in our lives, can be positive later on. It all depends on how you look at it. Negative things in our past can be learning experiences that make us stronger in the long run.

Whether you’ve been through a negative relationship with a family member, a friend or a significant other, it can feel the same. I know it’s hard, but in time things will get better. I honestly believe, when you go through tough times, you are being prepared for bigger and better things. Life is a constant learning experience.

I don’t wanna get too into it, but growing up with my mother was very hard. She didn’t treat me right, and made me feel like I had no voice what so ever. I still have issues with speaking up for myself and worrying that everyone is mad at me.

Eighteen years of living in fear is hard to erase, but I can honestly say that I would do it all again, because it made me who I am today.

Embrace your past! :) Feel free to share your stories! I would love to hear from you.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Christina Aguilera-Bionic

I wrote this on May 30th, and wasn't able to post it until today:
Who is as excited as I am for the latest Christina Aguilera album to come out? I wanted to share a fun little fact with all of you: on her website (http://www.christinaaguilera.com/us/news/listen-bionic-its-entirety) starting on May 31st, 2010, you can listen to her entire album. I am freaking out and can’t wait until tomorrow. I’m going to listen to it over and over. So far I have only heard the songs “Not Myself Tonight” and “Woo Hoo.” I am so excited for her fresh new sound and the futuristic vibe. Her voice is amazing and gives me chills every single time I hear it. It truly never gets old! She is the biggest inspiration for me, and her music helped me survive my childhood. I look up to her strength and her courage. I am so happy to see that she supports the LGBT community and women standing up for what they believe in. She has helped me come out of my shell and shown me that being sexy doesn’t mean you have to go over the top. If only all the parents out there who disagree with her actions could read between the lines. She is such an inspirational person, after everything she’s been through. She came out on top and now she’s showing other women that you can do what you want and you shouldn’t be told you can’t. I understand that things must be in reason, but the times are changing, women aren’t as repressed anymore, and we shouldn’t have to act any different than men do. Men can act all sexual but when we do, people call us all kinds of names. Let’s stand together and change it.

After you hear the album, tell me what you think :)

A Good Role Model

Yesterday I was flipping through a few magazines at the mall and came across the latest issue of Elle Magazine. I was really excited when I saw Kristen Stewart on the cover. I know a lot of people may think she’s rude or that she doesn’t appreciate her fame, but I really think she does. I look up to her, because she has shown us that it’s okay to be shy, it’s okay to be nervous. She to me is the most amazing celebrity. I don’t see any of her fame ever getting to her head. I think she will always see herself as just another girl in the world. I admire the fact that she stumbles through interviews, she isn’t perfect and she knows it. This is why I think she’s a really great role model. With girls only seeming to pay attention to the super thin models, the girls who act like they have anything, like they’re better than anyone else; I think we all need someone more down to earth, even if they don’t come around that often. I don’t understand what’s been going on with the world lately. Everyone seems to be so obsessed with people’s personal lives, who’s sleeping with who, who has the better clothes, the better car. Kristen shows us that you can be happy with a simple kind of life.

I honestly didn’t mean to make those two references to No Doubt lol, but they just kind of happened. So, what do you guys think about this topic?

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Why all the hate?!

There has been something on my mind for a while now, and I just have to get it out. It seems like everywhere I turn, there are people making fun of the LGBT community. Why is it that people think it’s so wrong? Does it really matter who we sleep with? Honestly. I just don’t understand how one person’s sex life could be more important than another’s. It’s very upsetting to me to see what the LGBT community has to go through. Why is it then get questioned constantly, and they are pressured into speaking out about who they’re with. Those of us who are straight, are treated completely different. It’s really not fair and I wish it would stop.

How do you guys feel about this? I really would like to get some different perspectives. I think I am a very understanding person and if people from both sides could leave some comments explaining why they feel the way they do, that would be great. I would love to have a little debate about all this.

Help me understand..

A lot of my beliefs could be due to the fact that I’m not religious and I take pride in that. I don’t like religion because it reminds me of a club or a cult. I like to think for myself. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve met some great religious people who think for themselves and don’t go exactly by the book. I’m not trying to put people into groups.

I really look forward to your comments!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Do what makes you happy

Why is it that when people find out I’m an online writer, they tend to think I will not be able to make enough money and that I would be better off getting a “real” job. Okay, I get what they’re saying to a point, because this whole online thing is new, even to me. But, I am the kind of person who believes that you can do whatever you want and if you try hard enough and really have a passion for what you’re doing, things will work out. I know that may sound like a bit of a na├»ve thing to say, but I truly believe it. I know I’ve had a bit of luck throughout my life to be able to do what I’m doing now and test it out, but I have passion for writing. I have passion for helping people. I can’t help it. It’s funny too because I’ve known this my entire life, but was so focused on thinking about what I “should” do, and that held me back. So much of the time, I think we think in a way that society has taught us to and forget to “think outside the box”, as my boyfriend always says.

If there is something that you want to do in your life, something that you are so passionate about, and that would make you happy, go for it. You only have one life and at the end of the day, you have every right to be satisfied with yourself and what you’re doing. Do what feels right of you!

Monday, April 26, 2010

Twilight Fans Unite

So, I am a huge Twilight fan and was wondering what you guys think of the films. If you’ve read the books, which one is your favorite? For me, I would have to say the first one because I was introduced to this world that I never thought I would care about. I have never been a fan of vampires and fantasy, but man did Stephanie Meyer change my thinking on that! I love the fact that she made the vampires into something more human. It really makes it more relatable for me. I have never been into the whole “I’m a vampire and I’m going to just go around and bite people”. (Although 30 Days of Night was a really neat movie. So dark and creepy)

Anyway, I am the biggest dork when it comes to Twilight. I have never liked something this much. I have both of the movies on DVD, like 5 different Twilight hoodies, a bunch of jewelry and a blanket. Yes, my poor boyfriend has to deal with this haha. Good thing is; he’s pretty into it too. Not as much as me, but he does enjoy it.

Now for the big question: Team Edward or Jacob? I have been an Edward fan from the moment I started reading the books. I know his and Bella’s relationship isn’t perfect, but he just loves her so much and the fact that he’s willing to do anything for her is commendable. You gotta respect a man for that.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Love Yourself

One thing that I think is really important in life is to learn to love yourself. This applies not only in physical relationships, but with your family and friends as well. If you think about it, how is one capable to be there for another person, when they can’t even be there for themselves? A perfect example of this is my mother. She is a very depressed, and lonely person. She hated herself, so wasn’t there for me and my siblings growing up. It was almost as if we didn’t have a mother at all. My mom was so lost in her own head and her own trouble and pain, that she sometimes couldn’t even get out of bed, wasn’t able to walk us to the bus stop. Sadly, in her case, she always drank her troubles away. Although, she would wake up the following day and she would have to deal with herself again, and a hangover.

Many people deal with their problems and their hatred for themselves in the worst ways possible. I will admit, I’ve been there. When I was depressed, I would avoid people and push everyone away who mattered to me. I was determined to make it on my own. What I failed to realize is that sometimes we need other people to help us get on our feet again. Some may say this is weak, but it’s not. Admitting you’re wrong or you need help is a major strength, and it’s probably one of the hardest things for any of us to do.

My previous relationships have been perfect examples of not loving myself and what it can do to your life. I was with people who were in no way right for me, and I knew it. However, I did whatever I could in my own mind to avoid the situation together and how it was making me feel. Where did that get me? To being unhappy, depressed and having panic attacks. I acted like everything was fine and put on a smile each day. I was with these guys for all the wrong reasons, and no matter what anyone said or tried to do to help me, I refused to change. I figured, I have found these guys who love me, when no one else will, so I can’t leave. That’s not the case, and no matter who you are, that will never be the case. If you love yourself, you give yourself more opportunities and you open up more doors because you aren’t afraid to be alone and take chances! It’s amazing how one simple fact really did change my life. You can do it to.

So, take a look at your life, and make sure you’re really happy. Are you doing what you like to do or what other want you to do? Are you happy with who you are? Who you’re becoming? If yes, then give yourself a pat on the back for loving yourself!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Giving Back :)

You want to know what brings me the most happiness? Giving back. You don’t have to have a lot of money to help others, you just have to be willing to make small sacrifices. Let’s say, you get a coffee every morning on the way to work. Instead of doing that, why don’t you buy something that’s worth the same amount of money to a homeless person on the street. I’m sure they could use the food more than you could use that coffee. Lately, I have been buying food for the homeless more and more. I really do think it’s the best feeling in the world. I love to see the look on their face, just the complete shock, when you hand them a meal. Honestly, it doesn’t matter how much you spend. To them, a meal is a meal. Buy them something you would like and really appreciate. Giving back is something that my grandmother taught me. She was always such a sweet person and always thinking about everyone around her. I think she thought about others more than she thought about herself!

The last time I bought someone a meal with the other day. I was eating at this new restaurant in town called Caspers. It was really cold outside and pouring rain. A homeless man pulled up on his bike and came inside and sat down to warm himself up. I heard him say, “If you’re going to kick me out, do it now.” I felt so terrible, sitting there eating, so I walked over to the waitress and told her to let him buy anything he wanted. You should have seen the look on his face. He was so grateful and excited to get to eat cat fish. He reminded me that I added another ten days to his life. I thought that was very cute. He walked over to my table, and gave me a coin that said “Love Coin” on the front. It is something I will cherish forever.

What have you done to give back lately?

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Dad Advice needed :(

Okay, so my dad grew up with my grandmother (his mom) always paying for everything and he's lived with her like 98% of his life, probably closer to 100%. So, I wanted to tell you guys a little bit about the current situation and see if anyone has any tips on how I can handle this:

So, to start off, my grandma passed away and he's going to have to sell the house and start working. Well, most of grandma's money was given to me, and he expects me to let him borrow a TON of it so he can get an apartment. I love him, but I'm not sure he'll pay me back. Also, I keep mentioning how he needs to get a job, and he keeps slacking and putting it off. I'm am just SO insanely annoyed with him and don't want to help him at all. Grandma always told me to not let him use me like he did to her. What should I do? Because he honestly thinks I'm just gunna give him money and that it's okay.

I don't trust the guy :( I'm so upset about this!! I love my dad a lot and wish him the best but I can't sit around and pay for him for the rest of his life. He keeps making excuses like, "Well, I have a lot of packing to do and the new job wouldn't give me the days off." That's SO not true and he knows it!
It's so hard for me, because he's my dad and I love him so much, but he has major issues! You know? I mean, he gets drunk sometimes for an entire week and last time that happened, he kicked me and slapped my bf. He's just such a mean person when he drinks. How can he possibly keep a job when he gets that way. I honestly can only picture him being homeless as sad as that sounds.

Oh ya, another question I had for you guys was:

My dad and I have a car and it's in both of our names, should I take it off? I live in Washington USA, and I'm worried about getting in trouble if he crashed or hit a person or something like that. Any ideas?
Thanks in advance to anyone who replies, it means a lot to me!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Grandma's Birthday

Today marks the exact day that my grandmother passed away, just two months ago. It's so weird waking up and not having her here, not being able to see her, speak to her. Today would have been her 85th birthday. I took some time and wrote a little note for her on my website. I really feel so blessed to have met such a wonderful woman! She was so kind and so giving. She put everyone else above her. I miss her terribly and can't wait to see her again one day. Have any of you lost someone you loved? What did you do to make it easier to deal with? I’m hoping one day I can wake up and it won’t feel like such a dream. Lately, I’ve been dreaming a lot about her and it’s been very comforting because I get to see her and hear her voice again. I feel so lucky to have so many videos of her that I can look at when I miss her. I’m still in shock in a way. I mean, she was just here, she’s always been here, and now she’s just.. gone. I wish I could explain in words how much she meant to me but I’m not sure it’s possible. She was my mom, one of my best friends, the main person in my life. I went to her for anything and everything. She was my support in every sense of the word. She listened to me, loved me and showed me how to be a good person. She was a person to look up to, and a person to trust. I’m not sure if I’ll ever meet anyone in my lifetime like her again and I hope that all of you reading this can experience, even if just for a moment, someone like her. When you do, you’ll never forget, because it will be a very special moment indeed.

<3 RIP Grandma. I LOVE YOU <3

I will never forget you!!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Entering BlogSphere

I always wanted to open a blog but wasn't sure if I was ready to expose my strange hobbies and thoughts with the general public.
But since it looks like there are 1,000,000's of blogs, I guess most chances are that no one will ever read this :-)
So I'm going to try to post of a weekly basis but can't promise anything, my new work is taking most of my time and it's quite frustrating.
Changes are I'll be complaining a lot about my new boss but I guess that's common :-)
and I'll try to give you interesting links of clips, games and cool online stuff.
so wish me luck...