Tuesday, December 14, 2010

1 Year Anniversary

My grandmother died on December 13th, 2009 and I can’t believe it’s already been a year since she passed away. Losing her was such a hard time for me. She was my guidance, my “mother”, she was the person I went to whenever I was scared or had anything going on. I really didn’t think I could survive without her. Life seemed pointless without her. I’m so glad that in the past year, I have grown so much and learned to deal with her absence. I have learned to open up to those around me and accept help from those who care about me. Sometimes, I worry that people are going to give up on me and that I will end up all alone but when I sit down and think about it, I know that I’m just afraid to lose anyone again. Losing someone that means so much to you is very hard.

I don’t think I’ve ever dealt with her death and so I think I haven’t had time to heal. I hope that in time, I can feel “normal” again. (Whatever that is lol) I’m sure grandma would be very proud of me if she saw me today and she would recognize the good in what I’ve done instead of just seeing the bad, like I tend to do.

Wherever she is, I hope she’s happy and I hope she can see me. I really hope she’s with me.

Love you grandma!

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