1 Year Anniversary

My grandmother died on December 13^th, 2009 and I can’t believe it’s already been a year since she passed away. Losing her was such a hard time for me. She was my guidance, my “mother”, she was the person I went to whenever I was scared or had anything going on. I really didn’t think I could survive without her. Life seemed pointless without her. I’m so glad that in the past year, I have grown so much and learned to deal with her absence. I have learned to open up to those around me and accept help from those who care about me. Sometimes, I worry that people are going to give up on me and that I will end up all alone but when I sit down and think about it, I know that I’m just afraid to lose anyone again. Losing someone that means so much to you is very hard.

I don’t think I’ve ever dealt with her death and so I think I haven’t had time to heal. I hope that in time, I can feel “normal” again. (Whatever that is lol) I’m sure grandma would be very proud of me if she saw me today and she would recognize the good in what I’ve done instead of just seeing the bad, like I tend to do.

Wherever she is, I hope she’s happy and I hope she can see me. I really hope she’s with me.

Love you grandma!

Almost Our One Year!!!

I’m super excited! My boyfriend and I have almost been together for one full year. Sure, it’s been bumpy along the way and there have been times I’ve worried we weren’t going to work, but I always knew we would be friends. I’ve never been happier in my life and I know he’s the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. I’ve literally lived with him since the day we started dating. I’m so glad I took that chance, and moved states away to be with him. I never knew things would turn out this great. Ever since I took that chance, I have followed my heart. Something told me back then that I had to give it a try, because if I didn’t then I would never know. I’d only known Chris for about a year at that point, and we never really hung out much. I always thought he was so adorable and awesome. He was always so much fun, so funny and full of life. He didn’t seem to care what people thought of him, which was super sexy.

So ya, September 1st, 2009 was the day I decided to move to Reno. I was terrified but so excited. It was going to be a fresh start for me and my grandma was sick with Lymphoma. I didn’t know how to deal with losing the person I loved most, the one I ran to for everything. Lucky for me, things worked out great with Chris. We moved back to Seattle to take care of my grandma and in a way, he took her place. I don’t know what I would do without him!

I love you Chris, always and forever!! Happy one year and many, many more to come <3