Love Keeps Getting Stronger and Stronger

It amazes me how much I love my boyfriend and how much closer I feel to him each day. You would think that there would be a limit on how much you love someone, and once you love them what feels like “a lot”, that it would be done. (Meaning, you can’t possibly love them anymore) How is it then; that as each day goes by; I end up loving my boyfriend more and more and I feel closer to him all the time? I find it amazing lol. We’ve been together over a year now, and after all we’ve been through, he has proven to me that he cares about me more than I thought a person was capable of loving another person. He has taught me what it means to love another person. I thought I knew what love was, but I never did until I met him. I have major trust issues and I don’t like getting close to people, because I always figure that I’m going to lose them anyway, which I realize isn’t a good way to look at life, but it’s how I feel. When it comes to him, I would do anything for him (truly) and can honestly say for the first time in my entire life that I will be with him through anything. I don’t care if he was dying and couldn’t speak to me.. I would be right there with him, taking care of him because he is the most amazing, loving, caring person I have ever met. I love him with all my heart. He keeps me sane lol!

I heard about  this tennis game, so I’m going to check that out. Talk to you guys later!

1 Year Anniversary

My grandmother died on December 13^th, 2009 and I can’t believe it’s already been a year since she passed away. Losing her was such a hard time for me. She was my guidance, my “mother”, she was the person I went to whenever I was scared or had anything going on. I really didn’t think I could survive without her. Life seemed pointless without her. I’m so glad that in the past year, I have grown so much and learned to deal with her absence. I have learned to open up to those around me and accept help from those who care about me. Sometimes, I worry that people are going to give up on me and that I will end up all alone but when I sit down and think about it, I know that I’m just afraid to lose anyone again. Losing someone that means so much to you is very hard.

I don’t think I’ve ever dealt with her death and so I think I haven’t had time to heal. I hope that in time, I can feel “normal” again. (Whatever that is lol) I’m sure grandma would be very proud of me if she saw me today and she would recognize the good in what I’ve done instead of just seeing the bad, like I tend to do.

Wherever she is, I hope she’s happy and I hope she can see me. I really hope she’s with me.

Love you grandma!

The Vampire Diaries

I know I've been away for a while, but I'm back! :):)

This is my favorite new show. What’s really cool in my opinion is the fact that the main character is actually from my favorite show since I was 14 years old; called Degrassi. It’s really interesting how so many actors and actresses from Degrassi make it into larger shows in the United States. (The show originates from Canada) It’s always a nice surprise when I’m watching a movie and suddenly one of my favorite characters from Degrassi pops up out of nowhere lol.

Anyway, I think this is an awesome show. I like seeing vampires in a new light. Yes, I realize this is all part of the “vampire phase” that’s going on right now, but I think it’s really interesting and I don’t just like it because other people do. I think the show is very sexy, provocative and interesting. I am always excited to see the next episode. It’s like; the episodes can never be long enough for me. I wish this show could be more like a sitcom or something, so that there would be episodes every single day. That would really be amazing. I’m just not sure I would have the time to watch them all haha.

This makes me wonder… what do you think about this whole “vampire obsession” lately? Do you like it, hate it? Do you wish it would die? HAHA. I’m really glad to have finally found something that I’m really into other than just music and writing. Don’t even get me started about Twilight! Lol.

I know this is completely random, but I miss my exercise bike I had when I lived with my grandma. I think it would help me work out more.

Before I die..

I don’t have a huge list of things I want to do before I die, but they mean a lot to me. I’m sure  as I get older they are going to change, but here is what I have as of today lol:

I want to stay with my boyfriend, and get closer to him. I want him and I to build the kind of bond that I have always dreamed of and prove to people that, yes, it is possible. I want him and I to be those adorable 50 year olds that you see walking down the street.. holding hands and crazy in love. I hope to one day marry him and prove to everyone that marriages can last. I want to show him how much I love him by committing myself to him in front of our friends and family.

I would love to do a lot of traveling some day. I know it’s really expensive, but I’ve heard such great things about places like France and Italy. I think people who travel probably respect life more and understand people more. I don’t want to spend my entire life in the United States, never knowing what it’s really like to live. I want to try all kinds of foods, and I want to understand all kinds of cultures, religions and things like that.

Lastly, I would love to go further with my writing and hopefully publish a book; maybe more. I want to be known, not famous.

TWO JOBS!!

I am so proud of my boyfriend! He quit his crappy job at Big! Lots and got two jobs. I’m so excited for him to get started. He can get at least 40 hours at one and about 30 at the other. I really hope this isn’t too much for him! I personally could barely handle 40 hours when I was working. I mean, I could but I got overly stressed and felt like I was going to freak out. I couldn’t stand it! I started having really terrible panic attacks and would cry on every single lunch and break that I had. I had horrible dreams about work and would dread working even on my days off. I personally think working online is much easier and much more fun. I love picking my hours. Plus, I don’t have to work as many hours as most people.

I don’t see how people do it. I know that many people don’t want to do it, but they have to. It sucks that money takes over all of our lives. I wish money wasn’t as important as it is.

Anyway, I’m really excited to hear how he likes working at both Radio Shack and his driving job. The driving job is going to be amazing for him because he’s obsessed with driving. He’s going to get to drive brand new cars. I can imagine the kind of stories I am going to be hearing when he gets home from work.

Kindle

Does anyone reading this have a Kindle? I never thought I would have one, because I love having a physical book in front of me to actually turn the pages and all of that. However, when I got my new cell phone, there was a Kindle Application and I instantly got addicted. I started by getting little free samples here and there, and it started to completely take over my life. I wasn’t working very hard for a few days, because I became so addicted to reading.

The really cool thing about the Kindle is that it’s so light, and the battery for it lasts about a month or even more. I didn’t think I would get one because I already had the Kindle on my Droid, but it was so worth it. It’s nice to have books on my cell when I need them, but it’s even better on the Kindle. I love bringing the Kindle with me on road trips, because it lasts so long, and it’s easy to read even when it’s in the sunlight.

The only thing that is better about the Kindle on my cell phone is the fact that it has a backlight. I love how I can make the text white and the background black. It’s really nice to lay in bed and listen. My cell now has my life on it: music and books! Hehe.

What Can't You Stand?

I can’t stand when people are two faced and act like they know something about your life when they’ve never even been there for you. I also can’t stand when people make plans and then seem to go out of their way to make it so you can’t meet up and make you drive around in circles to find them. Lol.. yes, this happened to me recently and that’s why it’s on my mind lol.

I’m pretty easy to please though, but I just get annoyed with lame people. Some people are just so dumb lol. Like for example: drivers! At least where I live! OMFG! There are some people that are so terrifying on the road that I have NO freakin clue how they ever were allowed on the road in the first place. You have probably seen them, the ones who cut you off or run lights. You notice how there’s NEVER a cop around when they do it? Cops are always around when something minor happens but not when someone REALLY deserves a ticket. No, cuz that would just be oh too convenient lol.

It also drives me crazy when people won’t call you back or are being super-immature and don’t want to talk to you. OR, how about when people text you and you would rather call cuz it’s easier, but they just keep texting and won’t answer your calls lol. That always cracks me up!

Wow, I feel a lot better hehe. So, what bugs you?