Almost Our One Year!!!

I’m super excited! My boyfriend and I have almost been together for one full year. Sure, it’s been bumpy along the way and there have been times I’ve worried we weren’t going to work, but I always knew we would be friends. I’ve never been happier in my life and I know he’s the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. I’ve literally lived with him since the day we started dating. I’m so glad I took that chance, and moved states away to be with him. I never knew things would turn out this great. Ever since I took that chance, I have followed my heart. Something told me back then that I had to give it a try, because if I didn’t then I would never know. I’d only known Chris for about a year at that point, and we never really hung out much. I always thought he was so adorable and awesome. He was always so much fun, so funny and full of life. He didn’t seem to care what people thought of him, which was super sexy.

So ya, September 1st, 2009 was the day I decided to move to Reno. I was terrified but so excited. It was going to be a fresh start for me and my grandma was sick with Lymphoma. I didn’t know how to deal with losing the person I loved most, the one I ran to for everything. Lucky for me, things worked out great with Chris. We moved back to Seattle to take care of my grandma and in a way, he took her place. I don’t know what I would do without him!

I love you Chris, always and forever!! Happy one year and many, many more to come <3

Getting My Hair Done

I am curious if all the other women out there feel the same way as I do. Every time I get my hair done, I feel like a completely different person. It always makes me feel like I can do anything.

What makes doing my hair the most fun is that there are a seemingly endless number of combinations. I love how it feels to try something totally new, and come out feeling and looking totally different. I thought I was done dying my hair a while ago, but I’ve decided to start again.

While flipping through one of my Cosmo magazines, I saw this hair ad that pictured a girl with pink and blonde streaks in her hair. Although I was a bit nervous, I decided to go with it and see what happened. It’s not like I have a “real” job to go to everyday anyway, so if it looked hideous, I could just hide lol.

It ended up turning out really nice looking and I think once this starts to grow out, I’m going to die my hair completely red. This is probably the most drastic change I’ve ever made to my appearance.

What are some of the craziest things you have done with your hair? Or even just with your appearance in general? What made you do it? How did it feel? How did everyone respond when they saw the major change?

Everyone’s shocked with what I did with my hair but they say they like it. Honestly, even if they didn’t, I would still love it because it feels awesome to take a chance.

Believe In Yourself

I truly believe; positive thinking goes a long way. I have noticed that when you think bad things are going to happen or you look for the negative in everything, negative things happen. Our minds are a lot stronger than many of us think. There is a sort of energy that emulates from us when we think one way or the other, causing things in our life to happen.

I have chosen to take the positive route because I really think it will benefit me. Ever since I found out I had anxiety, I realized that the way I was thinking was affecting how happy I was. In order to live a happy life, I had to change the way I was thinking. My whole life I had been only seeing the negative in my life and hadn’t realized that a lot of it had to do with the way I was acting. I was pushing those away who cared about me most away and not letting anyone into my little bubble. My mother didn’t help much with my situation; she was always picking me apart and making me feel like I had no voice.

I’m glad that I now have many people who love me around me all the time and that are very supportive. Therapy taught me a lot and I hope all of you can lead positive lives as well :)

Life is too short to be worried about the little things, and upsetting over things that will get better in time.

Vampires

So, lately I’ve been reading a lot (about a book every 2 days, which is crazy, I know) and I’ve really gotten into vampire stories. I know that doesn’t seem too strange since I’m a huge fan of Twilight, but it wasn’t the vampires that got me hooked on Twilight; it was the love story behind it. I’m now on the 3rd book of the Vampire Diaries series and now I’m realizing that I really do have a crush on vampires lol. I think the whole vampire story is really romantic, how they want to be normal and how they fall in love with regular people. The Vampire Diaries are like nothing I’ve ever read before. I’ve seen a few of the episodes on The CW, but never realized how intense it really was.

I can’t wait to finish these books, because I also bought the entire TrueBlood series. I’ve heard TruBlood is really different too. I guess in that series, vampires walk among the living and everyone knows about them. That’s going to be really fun to read. All of this reading is inspiring me to keep working on writing my first book, because you never know what may happen :)

Who knows, maybe I’ll end up writing the next big series. That would be my dream! I love writing and to make a living off it. Man, I would feel like the luckiest girl in the world!!! There’s nothing else I could wish for and I’ve never been happier in my entire life. This is the best feeling ever!

Becoming a Cop

My boyfriend has been thinking about becoming a cop lately and although I want to be supportive, I’m also very scared for his safety. I know that cops are needed, and I realize that if he does it then we will be doing very well in the money department, but I can’t help but think about how likely it is for him to get hurt? I keep hearing stories on TV about cops getting killed around Seattle, and I’m worried because that’s where we live. I don’t want to lose him because he means so much to me and he is my purpose for living each day. He makes me happy and he has changed me in ways that no one else ever has or ever could. He is my life; he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

I will admit, it’s very inspiring and sexy to see him with these goals all set out for himself and it’s motivating me to do things I thought I never would, like go to college myself and pursue my love of Psychology. At least what I’ll be doing isn’t dangerous. He is going to be putting his life on the line every single day and I’m not sure if he’s put much thought into that. Does he not realize that he could die? Does he not see that his life could be forever changed because he is going to be face to face with some very shady people?

Of course I want to be supportive, but I can’t shake my fears. Does anyone know anyone who’s a cop? How can I deal?


He's going to look super sexxi, that's for sure!!

Memories of Grandma

It’s been seven months since I lost my grandmother to Cancer, and sometimes it feels as if she never existed, which is really upsetting but it’s much better than dealing with the pain of losing the most important person in my life. Right now, I feel like bawling my eyes out but I just can’t because I am too motivated and focused on the future. I know she wouldn’t want me to think about the fact that she’s gone, she would want me to think of the happy days and think about my future and the rest of my life with Chris. I wish she could see our apartment, the promise ring Chris gave me and everything. She would be so proud if she saw how well I’m doing with my online work. She would be so excited to hear about our new apartment and our new cards. She would love that my dad and I still hang out and that the kids still come over. Things have changed a lot since she left, but I try to keep things as normal as I can. I hope she knows I took over her phone number because I know it meant a lot to her. I am keeping in contact with everyone for her and I will never forget about her. I hope she knows I’m happy.

Lately, I’ve been reading a lot of the books that I’ve had for a while and never had the time to read them. I am currently reading my Alice Sebold books and my grandma always wrote in the books she gave me. It’s so sad seeing her handwriting and knowing she once held this book in her hands. Sometimes I wish I could see her again, have a conversation with her, and smell the scent of her perfume. She was the sweetest, cutest grandmother and I hope she knows I love her with all my heart. She’s so beautiful and she forever changed my life.

I love you so much grandma! I promise I will never give up. I love you so much!!!

Misunderstandings

I’m not sure why but lately there have been a lot of misunderstandings in my house. These misunderstandings have led to a lot of stupid fights that never needed to happen in the first place. I don’t want to get into too much detail because it’s all over now, but I thought I’d share because I think people forget to communicate a lot of the time which leads to fights or even the end of a relationship that didn’t have to happen in the first place.


So anyway, my boyfriend and I are very happy but when I hear something that he’s said to his friend or things like that, I get nervous. I was told that he wasn’t happy with me, that he wanted to leave me and all kinds of things like that. I was very hurt and didn’t know what to do. So, I went directly to my boyfriend and asked him if it was true. He said no. So, I figured his friend was lying.

Well, turns out no one was lying. The whole thing had been a huge misunderstanding. His friend had been angry at the time he told me, and he wasn’t paying attention to how he had worded things. I also took the things wrong and by the time I told my boyfriend, everything was all scrambled up. When my boyfriend had said he wanted to take a break from me if we were still fighting when he had a better job, I had turned it into, when he got a bigger job, he wanted to leave me.

This is a reminder for everyone reading this to pay close attention to details and talk to the source. Things can get confused and twisted when repeated. I hope this helps your relationships!